2008-08-04 - 3:05 a.m. The disjointed ramblings of a sleep-deprived mind during a boring night at work
It's been a long enough time that this site probably just looked dead. I can't update on my other site here, because there's too much code that won't run. Oh well.
I'm not writing because I have anything profound to say, or because anything important has happened. Well, I suppose important things have happened, but it's not the reason I'm writing. Mostly, I'm just trying to stay awake.
I spent my entire weekend off packing and moving (thank God my mom came out to help, or that would have been murder), and then couldn't sleep this evening, so I came to my first night shift having not slept since 0700, and moving even MORE stuff after waking up. But we're done, and even Henri and Josie made it alright. Now I just have to wait for the closing and we can PERMANENTLY move, so I can finally stop dealing with Brennan's cheap "No-AC" policy.
I can't believe where I am right now. Working full time as a NURSE and buying a house... It was what I always wanted, right? Angie freaked when I was talking to her at her wedding, that I'm buying a house now, and she was 28 when she bought hers. And Brennan freaked out that I'm already making more money than he does. And my mom freaked out that I'm already making more money than my DAD does. Tell you what, I'm doing a lot of things that seem to be unexpected to people.
I'm dreading the drive home though. By the time I'm off my shift, I'll have been awake over 24 hours. A one-hour drive seems a little worrisome after that. And I can't even call anyone now, because who wants a 0730 call from someone just chatting to try to keep themselves awake? Although Allie would probably do it... hehe.
I'm so excited about the house. John's getting more excited as well now, I think. Realizing how nice it will be to have privacy and space. We'll have gone from one bedroom, a shared bathroom, living room, and kitchen, to EVERYTHING our own, with a second bedroom to boot. And there's a BAR in the basement, an actual BAR!!! With a working sink! How great is that gonna be?
I'm looking forward to everything John and I have planned. In a way, that last year with Greg prepared me for this, but now it's with more equal affection and trust... More trust from me, more affection from John. This is going to work, I feel it. It's just so RIGHT, everything is matching too damn well. I'm myself and he cares, he makes it feel alright. He makes EVERYTHING feel alright. I like myself better... I feel more physically attractive and also more emotionally secure. When I'm in a bitchy mood, he understands why and tries to make me feel better instead of scolding me into feeling worse. Too much understanding is a little hard for me to handle... heh.
Life could be better, but it's pretty damn good now. I'd love to get the unit I wanted at work, get new windows for my house, and a projector as a television. That's all I need. And I can wait for every single one of those things, because things are great now.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn will be just to love and be loved in return.
